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Lucidamente's avatar

Good to hear from you, Mr. President, and good to know you’ve become quite the Star Wars fan out there in the Great Beyond. I’ll bet it chaps your ass that while Trump bankrupted six of his businesses before twice becoming President, he was known as a business genius thanks to a thing down here we call a reality show. Whereas you were a highly successful businessman who went on to lead food relief organizations that saved millions of lives in places like Belgium and (yes) the Soviet Union, efforts that are completely forgotten thanks to that economy fucking (more like exacerbating, but let’s not get technical) you described here. All best to you and Mrs. Hoover (what kind of name is Lou Henry, anyway?), and I hope your time in eternity has convinced you that FDR and the New Deal weren’t so bad after all.

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

I talked to HH at this morning's staff meeting and he said that he hasn't warmed to the New Deal, but they do have reality shows where he is and he's really into Love Is Blind.

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bjkeefe's avatar

While skimming the Wkp entry that you linked to, ostensibly to show us the results of the 1932 election, I came across your real reason for linking: you wanted to show us that a relative was a VP candidate that year, amirite?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_H._Maurer

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

Ha! Good find -- I had never heard of this guy. The funny thing is that he's Pennsylvania Dutch, and so is my mom's mom, so possibly a relative, but of course "Maurer" comes from my dad's side. And we don't really know where that part of the family is from.

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JorgeGeorge's avatar

James H. Maurer sort of looks like you in the way a boomerang looks like a triangle LOL. He did live to almost 80 years old so good genes?

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Edward Scizorhands's avatar

Nepo babies everywhere!

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Matt Benson's avatar

Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again

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Eulalie's avatar

I just think it's nice they screen Star Wars movies in heaven.

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Edward Scizorhands's avatar

If you get to the afterlife and they're showing the prequels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eph6_fz49rc

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Thomas L. Hutcheson's avatar

Sorry to be a wet blanket on a very funny screed, but Hoover did not "[damage] up the economy." He just did not do the one thing that would have un[damaged] the economy, raise the price of gold so much that it was no longer a constraint on Fed action. There woud have been no Hawley Smoot to sign if the Fed had not first tanked the economy with too high interest rates in 1928-29 and not un tanked it. Yes, it was dealing with a novel situation and they did not did not have the advantage of having read "A Monetary History of the United States" by Friedman and Schwartz (1963), but the Fed was _created_ to prevent "panics."

Maybe we could have a revised "What Presidential Acton most Damaged the Economy" and Hover for Hawley Smoot woud still be in the running, but we don't get to count the whole Great Depression.

BTW for all the same reason, we don't get to count any of the Great Recession against Bush. Bush's claim to ignominy is the [damaging] tax cut that reversed the beautiful _surplus_ that Clinton had achieved.

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

I'm sure you're right about all of this, but it's also true that he's SEEN AS the president who ruined the economy. And I'm going to leave it there, because I need to conserve my energy for when the Star Wars guy shows up.

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Edward Scizorhands's avatar

He's also regularly accused of trying austerity, but government spending doubled in real terms over the course of his administration. FDR accused him of running up too much debt!

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Sean's avatar

Hoover was a humanitarian and truly impressive, decent man whose term of office coincided with an economic

calamity that was largely out of his control. The rest of his endeavors and life were impressive and successful - but he is remembered for those 4 year. His attempts to deal with the Depression were unsuccessful, but so was the New Deal. The New Deal fundamentally changed the relationship between Americans and the federal government, but the depression was only ended by the War, and the return of prosperity post-war.

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Thomas L. Hutcheson's avatar

Hoover just had little to do with the Depression (except Smoot Hawley), like GWB.

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Rob "Irony Man" Block's avatar

Take heart sir, you still have a vacuum cleaner named after you.

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WJ Hayes's avatar

"The universe really conspired to gang bang my legacy sideways, right down to my last name being “Hoover” — you know, a thing that literally sucks!!!"

Reminds me of the scene in 'Clue':

Professor Plum: But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after a multiple murder?

Wadsworth: Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover ...

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Pan Narrans's avatar

I don't know if that last bit referenced this intentionally, but Hoover basically dedicated the rest of his life after losing the presidency to publicly hating FDR. He was working on a magnum opus when he died, decades later it got published, and it turned out to be about 1,000 pages of, basically "FDR is the Sith Lord Darth Noctyss".

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William Adderholdt's avatar

So far, there have been two Quakers elected to the presidency, Herbert Hoover and Richard Nixon. They are batting 0 for 1000 so far. Maybe we should stop buying their motor oil.

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Bill Lenfestey's avatar

Jeff, I agree that we seem to be on the edge of an economic cliff. I'll also be the first to acknowledge that, a lot of times, Trump acts like a crazy bastard who's (or is it whose) only consistant characteristic is that he's thin-skinned. (Does skined have just one N?) However, during his address that he said was his state-of-the-union speech, he said that no matter what he did, pretty much all democrats (I think that's you), and the mainstream news media would call it bad by default. I'm trying to think of at least one thing Trump did that was maybe a little bit good. And, I remember that he was pushing drug manufacturers to develop a covid vaccine. While this was going on, the intrepid news media told us this couldn't be done--Trump was just a loud-mouthed egotist. I also have news articles in which former V. P. Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and Joe Biden all said that if a vaccine was developed on Trump's watch, they probably wouldn't be caught dead taking it. I wonder if, say, Trump had won the 2020 election, would democrats have turned out to be the violent anti-vacsers? Thank goodness, the democrats were instrumental in developing the vaccine. Joe Biden issued a statement in December 2020 telling us how he was going to distribute it and save the country. But, wait--um--it was developed BEFORE Biden took office. That loud-mouthed sun of a bitch Trump actually---um--got it done. What a jerk. And the vaccine was not distributed until after the election. This was to make sure that nobody would give conservatives credit for having anything to do with it. And, it worked. Now, regarding the eeconomy. Is it just possible that Trump is using the threat of tariffs to leverage other countries into maybe creating more of a level playing field with regard to trade? If you'll go back to 1982, when another President threatened Japan auto manufacturers with tariffs and Japanese cars, this isn't the first time threats of tariffs have been used as leverage. In Trump's first term, during a conference with Western European nations, he said: "Hey, why don't we all just agree to get rid of all tariffs?" That went over like a lead baloon. Of course the news people didn't cover it. Do other countries do things that make the playing field unlevel? Could countries like China sort of subsidize businesses so they can cut costs and under-bid U.S. competitors? What about value-added taxes that have been stand in Western Europe for decades? You could make the argument that they are like sales taxes. But, they're higher, and they're hidden in the price of the item being sold. So far, no tariffs have been actually imposed. So far, threats of tariffs have made Colombia accept undocumented aliens who were deported from the U.S.; foreign car and steel manufacturers have decided to set up plants in the U.S. instead of places like Mexico. Just this week it appears that the E.U. is considering reducing some of their tariffs. Woe. Why couldn't this have happened under Bidenomics, and maybe brought inflation down? Could it be that Trump's wild-west-like behavior, his acting like a crazy s. o. b., has little to do with imposing tariffs, but is all about creating fairer trade policies? And, if he pulls this off, will any of you guys in the democrat party or in the news media actually give him any credit for it? I think not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go get another covid shot--you know, the vaccine developed by Joe Biden's people. One more thing: I'm not a prude or anything? However, sometimes I get a little tired of hearing the word FUCK used so freely. After all, this word actually means--it means--well, I think we know what it actually means. It's fun to use this word. It feels good, and I can't think of another word that we could replace it with. However, every time I hear it, I think of folks copu--well, you know--sometimes actually raping without consent, and I'm a little disturbed. So, is there any copulating way we can come up with a "let's rape women" word that would have just as much punch and not be as sexually demeaning? Just a thought. Thanks.

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William Adderholdt's avatar

Yikes. Paragraphs are your friend! ¶

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Cernunnos's avatar

All this time I have been laboring under the misconception that Dipshittistan was governed under a Parliamentary system. Shows what I know.

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My Friend's Coffee's avatar

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Well done.

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Paul Valentine's avatar

Truly, Trump's tariffs are like if someone tried to blockade the Perlemian Trade Route with the insane hope that it would cause Coruscant's shipyard to somehow become as big as Kuat's or Corellia's, even after seeing that the last attempt to blockade trade routes played directly into Darth Sidious' plan to destabilize and ultimately destroy the Galactic Republic.

We can only hope we recover in time for whatever is the equivalent of the Yuuzhan Vong.

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Anthony S.'s avatar

Wouldn't surprise me to learn that HH has written extensively on the Trade Federation's blockade of Naboo.

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Joe Gitchell's avatar

Minor editor's quibble: in you subhead, you mean "known" not "know". - A pedant

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Jeff Maurer's avatar

Thanks -- fixed! It always kills me when I have a typo IN THE TITLE. My eyes just don't see them because my brain knows what it's supposed to say.

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Joe Gitchell's avatar

Amen and you're welcome.

As far as what we see vs what is there, I love the game of looking at a ceiling fan straight on (central vision) and then turning your head to view it with your peripheral vision. What is reality, really?

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Joe Gitchell's avatar

Oh, and as a native Iowan, I do have a bias in wanting to displace HH from this throne of infamy.

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